10 commandments of a successful relationship
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10 commandments of a successful relationship

1. Do not restrict the freedom of your partner. Spending time separately is an absolutely healthy and obligatory part of every relationship. It can be difficult for you if you have fewer friends than your partner, or fewer opportunities to spend your free time, but that doesn't mean you have to force your partner to spend time with you.  The harder you try to keep your partner, the harder you will push him away from you. Pretensions, insults and jealousy are the quickest way to destroy your relationship.

2. Don't react impulsively. Don't pass your frustrations onto your partner. It's not worth going back to the old arguments again, even if it still hurts a little bit. It is not worth showing jealousy, even if you just felt it more strongly. Whatever hurts you, instead of reacting impulsively, it is worth  distancing yourself from it first and looking at everything from a different angle.

3. Talk about what you do not like - with respect and in a peaceful atmosphere - because these are the only conditions in which such a conversation can be effective. Say what you like and what you think is worth changing, but do not play a dictator and do not try to make any demands, because it will only arouse hostility. Such conversations do not always have to be comfortable, but clarifying certain things that interfere with you before they get bigger may be of key importance in maintaining a good relationship between you.

4. Apologize if you feel that you have done something wrong. Even if your partner has done something 18 times worse. Saying sorry for something you really did wrong is never a sign of weakness. I'm sure you'll never hear anything like that: "Paul, you lame bastard. Why did you apologize to me? Those words "Fuck off, bitch" made me understand how you feel and see all my mistakes. And now you are apologizing to me? You are nothing to me!

Apologizing for your mistakes is the first step to break down the hostility and arouse self-reflection in your partner. Just as aggression gives birth to aggression, apologies give birth to... peace.

5. Don't react with an attack. Stop the first automatic reaction and try to look at your partner with love. Try to feel what your partner feels and try to understand where the reaction came from. What hurt him so much that he got so angry? It always takes two people to argue. If you do not take up the fight, I am so sorry, but nothing will come out of the fight.

6. Don't impose yourself on your partner. You can confidently offer going out, intiate conversations or physical closeness - but only if you can see that your partner reacts well to all this and gives something from himself. Worse, if for a long time all these gestures come only from you, and your partner is strongly withdrawn - you can break the balance of feelings between you, and in the long run it leads to more and more disproportions and finally to the breakup of the relationship.

7. Don't demand love. This may seem paradoxical, but your partner is not to love you, you are to make him/her love you. Because you have incomparably more control over what he or she feels for you than he/she himself/herself. Therefore, signals that indicate that your partner is withdrawn should be a warning lamp for you. It is you who should think about what you can do better, instead of blaming your partner.

8. Tell the truth - even if it is difficult. Your partner is one of the people you should be most honest with. If you want to lie about something, it is worth taking it as an impulse to take a closer look at it. Why would you lie? Is your partner restricting your freedom? Maybe this is a good time to face this problem instead of taking shortcuts and hiding something? Do you want to lie because you are afraid of your partner's reaction? Maybe it's better to show some weakness, admit your previous mistakes and let yourself be fully yourself instead of being a superhero?

9. Don't allow yourself to flirt with other people. It may seem innocent and you may feel that you have full control over it... But you have almost no control over how you feel about someone else. You can neither fall in love on demand nor fall in love. It happens on its own.  So if you feel that you're obviously starting to like someone around you, and you don't want to end your relationship and start another one again, it's definitely better to back out while you still can. Because after crossing a certain border it may not be possible to return anymore.

10. Talk, talk and talk again. Even if you are both busy and busy with your children or home, you must find some time to talk about what is happening in your home on a regular basis. Without it you will gradually start to move away and your relationship will finally fall apart.

Do you want to build a lasting, happy relationship? You don't know how to deal with conflicts, jealousy and resentment? Is coldness, monotony and hostility creeping into your relationship? Make sure to check out my course - click here

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