Today I’m going to tell you about 5 greatest love myths, in which most of the society believes. I bet that you also believe in most of them. I think that it will be easy to debunk most of them, but some of them are deeply rooted in our society, so you will have to be open-minded in order to understand that.
You have your other half somewhere in the world - MYTH
This is one of the most common and most dangerous myths. If you believe that the person you are with or you are attracted to is destined for you and without him/her you are incomplete, you will be more prone to desperate forms of behaviour. If you really want to attract somebody, you usually lose your self-confidence and show too much interest – and, therefore, you lose your attractiveness.
If a person believing in this myth gets dumped, they may get depressed and suffer for many months or even years.
But what’s the truth? There is no one person with whom you can be happy. If you are in love with someone, such thoughts may show up in your mind, but be aware that it’s an illusion. Even if this “theoretical” love of your life leaves you and you suffer, after some time you will find another person with whom you fall in love, and after a few years you will not remember how much you cared back then.
You must fight for your husband or wife all the time - MYTH
You must take care of your RELATIONS with the partner, but you do not have to fight for the very partner. The most common invisible cause of break-ups is the situation when one of the partners cares too much about the other person and disrupts the emotional balance.
When I advise my clients on repairing relationships, the following scheme keeps repeating:
A woman notices that her husband has distanced himself and has lost interest in her. She gets to know (from a book or a psychologist) that she has to appreciate him more, pay more compliments, initiate dates, etc. She introduces these changes, months go by and… it’s getting worse.
What I recommend in such situations is getting rid of all negative emotions – blaming, jealousy, offensive remarks, etc. What’s more, a woman should show, in a subtle way, that she is not as deeply interested in her partner and that she has her own life. The effects should be visible within a few weeks.
There is no love without jealousy - MYTH
I know that for many people it may be a totally abstract concept but you can love someone a lot and, at the same time, not be jealous. But even if you feel jealousy, its excessive showing influences your attractiveness in a very negative way. For instance, if you see that your wife has distanced herself from you and you suspect that she is having a love affair, attempts to control her and showing how much it hurts you will only disrupt the emotional balance and make the situation even worse.
The best possible solution to prevent acts of infidelity are not bans or controls, which can be easily evaded, but increasing your attractiveness.
Your partner either loves you or does not love you - MYTH
People often wonder whether this one particular person loves them or not. But love between a woman and a man is not a static emotion, which either exists or does not. The intensity of this emotion may vary and it may change over time. If you wonder whether your partner still loves you, it is possible that his feelings are somewhere in between. If this person loved you a lot, you wouldn’t have any doubts. If he or she was completely indifferent, you would also notice it.
Love can hurt - MYTH
There is no such thing as unhappy love. Love does not hurt. What can hurt you is your conviction that a person that you want to be with is necessary for you to be happy.
If you believe that you cannot live without this one human being, then your love is immature. It is not even love, but rather an addiction. This is where all kinds of jealousy, blaming and other negative emotions stem from.
Now imagine the following approach: “I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I don’t need you to be happy. I love your company and I love spending time with you, but when you aren’t around, I don’t miss you. I am happy spending time only with myself.” This is contrary to desperation and it forms a very attractive attitude.
I’m curious what you think about this topic. Please write about the myths that you used to believe in in the comments.
I also highly recommend sharing this article and spreading the knowledge. Without your help this message will not reach people on a larger scale, and this knowledge may even change somebody’s life.