|The most common cause of relationship break-ups is the instability of feelings. For example, if you showed a lot more interest than your partner. You were more jealous, more often wanted to meet and so on. The official reasons may be different, but if that was the case for you, then influencing the balance of feelings was a direct cause of the break-up and everything else is just rationalization.|
The only thing you can do in this situation is to rebuild this balance by showing that you no longer care and you will not give any more effort. Only when you become a challenge again, you will have a chance to make it work again.
To achieve this you need time. The more mistakes you made, all the more time works in your favor, because the more it passes, the more your mistakes will go into oblivion and naturally you will become more challenging, because after some time the other person will start to have doubts. Are you still thinking about them? Or perhaps you’ve already forgotten about them? Or did you start dating someone else? Just then your attractiveness begins to grow.
Remember to not be at arm’s length. When you become more challenging, your former partner may start to speak to you. If you show that you react to any contact from their side with great enthusiasm and without flinching agree to a meeting – this will present you as a very easy challenge -so your appeal will drop .
Your goal should not be meeting your former partner, but rebuilding your attractiveness. If you don’t do this, even 5 meetings won’t help you. Therefore, until you see that they’re starting to have feelings for you again, the meetings are not necessary.
Getting back with one another is a process and not an event. If you get back together, it should happen as if you met for the first time. First, you give yourself some time after the break-up to show that you passed on and no longer intend to try. Then you should renew contact, often showing a slight disinterest. With time you contact more frequently and show more and more interest - depending on how much your partner is interested. In the end, you begin to behave like a couple and you start telling yourselves "We’re together again”.
Don’t directly ask your partner whether they would get back with you, because if you do it too early, you reveal your intentions, again ceasing to be a challenge and driving them away. What's more, even if he asked and even if you want to get back together, the best answer would be: "I don’t know. I must admit that I think about it sometimes, but on the other hand, I don’t feel the same about you. If you want, we can try, but remember that I can’t promise anything." With this you give hope, but you remain a challenge. If you immediately agreed, you would show that you were available the whole time and the situation could once again change rapidly.
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