Yet another of your relationships has ended? Or maybe your acquaintance with someone has ended after a few dates?
If you’ve noticed that it is hard for you to build a durable relationship, there is a chance that you simply have bad luck or you don’t meet right people. But it is much more probable that you are not a right person for a relationship. And it’s worth finding it out as it gives you a chance of changing it. See 5 most common signs of that.
1. You always look for other options. It’s good, BUT it can always get better. Especially that some time has passed, the butterflies in the stomach have died out and a relationship is not as passionate as it used to. Maybe I’m going to surprise you, but such a fate awaits every relationship. Initial passion will, sooner or later, die out, and your relationship will enter the phase of maturity. If you give in to temptation and start running after butterflies, you may end up in a passion trap and start changing your partners far too often – I’ve recorded a separate video about it.
2. You don’t have your own life. If you don’t have any friends or deeper bonds with your family, and the centre of your social life is constituted by your partner, you may get into trouble. It may get even worse if your partner, God forbid, HAS any friends and his/her own social life. Such a situation may mean that your partner will feel obliged to spend time with you and this will not influence his/her feelings towards you in a positive way. In the end, your lifestyle is one of 6 most important attractiveness factors.
3. You try to adjust to your partner at all costs. Compromises in a relationship are needed, or even required, but under the condition that they come from both sides, not only from yours. Constantly stepping aside cannot be considered a compromise. If you believe that you cannot deal with life without your partner and you have to make him/her stay at all costs, you will be more prone to step aside in a disputable situation. But such convictions lead to disrupting the emotional balance and the end of a relationship. Therefore, getting it all your own way, especially with regard to important issues, will not bring any good to you and your relationship.
4. You try to change and control your partner. If you like being a dictator (not in the bed-time context), you will end up in great trouble. Of course, it’s good when you want the best for your partner, encourage him to set up new aims and work at himself/herself, but if your persuasion turns into threats, ultimatum, or grumbling, you will have little chances of effective motivation, since these are the worst possible methods. At the same time, you will also ruin your relationship and your romantic feelings towards your partner.
5. You often get offended and put blame on your partner. If two men hear, “You have a small penis” - one of the will be incredibly offended and the other one will not even react. Then, which of them was generously blessed by nature? When you get offended, you show your complexes and the lack of self-confidence. It’s even worse when you get offended and put blame on your partner when he/she doesn’t show you any kind of interest, for instance he/she has cancelled a meeting, hasn’t written you back or doesn’t care about you at all. Communicative skills from kindergarten will not necessarily work in an adult world. In practice, putting blame on someone will not convince anyone to anything and will further destroy your relationship. If this point concerns you and you would like to build a solid relationship, you will have to work on it.
6. You are too jealous. Of course, people say that there is no love without jealousy, but it’s nonsense. Jealousy is like poison. A small portion may not cause you harm but nothing justifies using a poison. And overdosing can have terrible consequences – not merely a diarrhoea. Even if you feel jealous, remember that transferring this jealousy onto your partner will not bring you any good, but instead will weaken his/her romantic feelings and increase the likelihood of the unfaithful behaviour.
The more signs you can notice in yourself, the lesser likelihood that you’re going to create a successful relationship, no matter with whom. Fortunately, it’s all in your hands. Each of these points was discussed separately in my videos, so I encourage you to explore my channel.
If you are in a relationship already and you want to check what chances of survival your relationship has, do a free test concerning relationships on robertmarchel.com