|Let's start with recognizing if a relationship is toxic or not. Here are a few symptoms that can indicate this:|
- Your partner tries to control your life and tells you what to do. They react with anger if you don’t comply.
- Your partner shows a lot of jealousy. They control you and don’t give you any freedom.
- Your partner often gives you a lot of grief, gets offended easily or tries to put the blame on you.
- You quarrel at least once a week.
- Your partner has moods. There are moments when they’re very caring, but there are also times when they completely ignore you.
- They’re aggressive – they shout at you or even use violence.
- They’re not interested in working on the relationship, they don’t see their fault.
The more symptoms, the more toxic the relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is also completely resistant to any sort of suggestions, you should definitely end the relationship.
But before you make the decision, ask yourself a few questions and answer them honestly.
- If you knew that your girlfriend or your boyfriend will never change, would you still be with them?
- Are you together because you think that your partner is amazing or because you’re afraid to be alone?
- If another attractive person was interested in you, would you break up with your partner?
- Are you with them because you are afraid to hurt them and you don’t know how to break up with them?
Remember that staying in such relationship makes you hurt yourself and your partner. You both waste your time and make each other suffer. You're in the middle of it, so it’s hard for you to objectively look at the situation, but when you break up with that person, you will feel much better.
What’s the best way to break up? Meet your girlfriend or boyfriend and tell them about it personally. But if you can’t do it, because it’s too hard, then write your partner a letter, preferably on paper. Leaving such a letter is just easier and will not postpone the process. Write down everything that goes through your head and explain why you break up.
And now a very important warning. When you break up with someone, you might feel relieved at the beginning, but you might also begin to regret it and your mind will start thinking up reasons why you should not end the relationship so fast. This is a natural mechanism and a kind of illusion. You must endure this moment and realize that if you go back on your decision, it will be exactly the same as before. Therefore, get ready that after breaking up you will suddenly care much more about your partner. Wait a few days. 1 or 2 weeks should be enough for you to feel better.
What’s important, for your own good, try to break the contact with that person and not to meet them again. It will only make the situation even more complicated. Put everything on the table at the moment of the break up and then distance yourself from that person, even if they go out of their way to contact or meet you. This will make you forget faster.
If you want to check your relationship's condition, please take a short and completely free test.
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See you next week!