|Being a challenge for the other person is nothing, but a strong belief in your own value. The mechanism of mate-pairing is designed so that it’s the partners themselves that decide whether they consider themselves worthy of being with one another. Therefore, to learn how to naturally be a challenge from the very beginning of the relationship, you need to realize a few things.|
1. People who do not regularly meet new people and therefore have little choice, will very easily fall into a trap. It consists of the fact that seeing a good-looking man or woman, you immediately assume that this is a great fit for a relationship. Meanwhile, it is pure illusion. To be a good relationship material, they don’t just have to look good, they have to suit you and be attractive to you in other ways and this isn’t something you can judge straight away.
Therefore, instead of saying "God, please make them like me", think "I hope it turns out that she or he is an interesting person". You'll find this out only when you meet an attractive men or women and come to the conclusion that appearance really isn’t everything.
2. Sometimes you already know the other person pretty well and you know that they’re great in other aspects or at least you think so. How to approach this in a smooth way then?
When you begin to fall for the other person, you immediately stop looking at them objectively. Therefore, there is a paradox, where for example millions of women around the world believe that they found this one best man and they won’t be happy with any other man. Except that there are also millions of these perfect men, because each of these women has one. Therefore, it is obvious nonsense. It’s your mind’s trick. Actually, you cannot easily control your feelings and thoughts that come to your mind, but when you are aware that this is a hoax, you can easily control your behavior. You can use the last shred of sense to realize that if it’s not this person, then it’s a different one. Your brain and your body tells you: "She is so wonderful, you cannot live without her." And you say "Well, take a look at them then”.
3. Learning to be a challenge is also based on being sensitive to how you are perceived by the person you are dating. If they are attractive, then they will very often put you in one basket with all the other people that are trying to hit on them. Then you need to gracefully get out of this. It is a bit of a verbal battle. Let's see if you pass the exam. In a moment I will tell you a few statements. Stop the video after each of them and think about the answer. If you want, you can write your answers in the comments beneath the video.
- I don't know if I can meet. Well, unless you convince me somehow?
- If you pay for the ticket, you will get a kiss.
- OK, I'll see you tonight, but remember that this is a friendly meeting.
See that all these statements prove the fact that the person who utters them thinks you’re the one who needs to make an effort. And if this is so, then you are not a challenge to them.
If you answer like:
- I'll buy you a drink.
- OK, it's a deal.
- Fine, I won’t get my hopes up
Then you’re even more screwed.
A good response to this is laughing it off and showing that it is absurd and that it has no place in reality.
These are good reactions:
- I'll give you 4 cents.
- I have a better deal. If you buy the tickets, I’ll kiss you twice.
- Oh, so there won’t be any sex?
Remember, you can react like this even if you are a woman. Such reaction only shows that you don’t care.
If you want to check how confident and aware you are, please take a short and completely free test.
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See you next week!