Your next relationship has just fallen apart? Or maybe you feel that the one in which you are currently, is still not perfect for you, even if you haven't ended it yet? If so, it's worth considering what went wrong and what you can change to make your relationship better in the future. Here are the five most possible reasons why your relationship hasn't worked out best so far.
1. You find the wrong people. Contrary to appearances, the likelihood that the person who has recently caught your eye will fit you is relatively low - even if at first glance you like how they look. It's not true that opposites attract each other - when it comes to relationships, the more similar you are to each other, the better your chances of creating a happy relationship are.
However, if not much happens in your life and you don't meet too many people, you condemn yourself to the fact that you have little choice among partners and little chance of finding someone with similar values and outlook. Differences in character are a common reason for breaking up - although it is given far too often in divorce cases. The cure for this is to create more opportunities for yourself to meet new people and go out for dates more often - this way you can significantly increase your chances of getting to know someone who will be your perfect match.
2. You love too much and break the balance of feelings. This is all the more likely if you have been left once again. If this is the case, I encourage you to watch other videos on my channel, where I discuss this topic in much more detail. I also encourage you to familiarize yourself with my course "How to build and fix a relationship" - which you will find on the website kursy.jakzdobywac.pl.
3. You fall into the so-called "passion trap". This may apply to you, if it has always been you who end relationships, mainly because you meet someone who seems more attractive to you than the previous partner. This problem usually concerns very sociable people, who has always been attractive to the opposite sex and has a lot of opportunities to change their partner - usually after one or two years.
It's after that time that the initial phase of falling in love weakens and the relationship becomes more mature - but the passion and excitement before each meeting, which is becoming less and less intense, is something you may lack... So it's so easy to fall into the trap of looking for something new with another person. However, this will make every relationship end after a relatively short period of time. You should be aware of this and think about priorities in your life.
4. With time you stop caring about your relationship. You focus more on your duties and work than on your partner. You have a routine, almost every evening you sit at home, start to live your own life and talk to each other much less often. This is probably the most frequent scenario of the fall of long term relationships.
Of course, it is not worth constantly fawning over your partner, confessing your love, or even worse complaining that s/he is not willing to do anything - because in the long run it leads to the balance of feelings being tilted to your disadvantage. But it is definitely worthwhile to take the initiative, first of all to talk to each other, but also to do something together - only the two of you.
Even if you have promised each other that you will be always together until the end of your days, it does not mean that this will be the case. If you do not take care of your relationship, nobody else will do it for you. However, in this situation don’t wait for your partner to take the initiative - because the lack of action of the other party is no excuse.
You are the initiator and you may regularly suggest going out, organizing some trips or other ways of spending time, so that you can spend as much time together as possible and have opportunities for deeper conversations. If your proposals are in the form of loose - but at the same time concrete ideas and you don't put any pressure on your partner, even if you take the initiative regularly, you won't break the balance of feelings.
5. You do not know effective means of communication. This point applies to you if all your relationships have disintegrated because of frequent quarrels. Actually, among other reasons, this point concerns most people - because few people know how to communicate calmly and respectfully. Even if your partner has done something wrong and almost everyone would think they deserve some kind of reprimand - it doesn't mean that pointing out mistakes to them is a good idea - because that's what leads to quarrels - it weakens your relationships and doesn't lead to change in the future at all. At the same time, when your partner feels attacked, your message becomes completely inaudible - so he can't really understand what he did wrong.
It's amazing that some couples have been quarrelling about one thing for years and at the same time for years it doesn't give them anything, nothing changes - at least not for better - but still they keep using the same ineffective strategy. The good news is that effective communication can be learned. And the absolutely wonderful news is that it's enough for you to learn it - your partner won't even have to nod - he may be as indifferent and negative as before - but when you change the way you talk to him, he will change as well. On the one hand, it is relatively easy to learn about it - on the other hand, it is much more difficult to overcome your communication habits - but everything can be done.
Do you want to build a lasting, happy relationship? You don't know how to deal with conflicts, jealousy and resentment? Is coldness, monotony and hostility creeping into your relationship? Make sure to check out my course - click here