He loves me, he loves me not? How to check it?
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He loves me, he loves me not? How to check it?

Let's start from the fact that love is not a zero-one formula and the answer to this question is usually not so simple as definite YES or absolute NO.

If you are asking yourself this question, it probably means that you get mixed signals from your partner.

Some signals indicate that this person is interested in you and still wants something from you, while others deny it. In this situation, the question "Does he love me, or doesn't he" can be compared to the question whether the grey is more similar to black or white? No answer will be good.

It is the same with love. There is no such thing as mythical true love, which either exists or does not exist. Love is chemistry in our brain and just as you can like someone more or less, you can also love someone more or less - and the intensity of this feeling has the whole spectrum from total indifference, to light interest or sentiment, through fascination, to absolute love.

So a much more relevant question is "How much someone is interested in you" or possibly "How strong someone else's feelings towards you are".

In order to complicate the subject even more, it is worth dispelling one more myth. Feelings are not constant. Their intensity changes with time. The fact that your partner confessed that they love you 2 months ago and planned your future together does not necessarily mean that today they still love you the same way and still want to be with you.

But it also works the other way round. The fact that he says now that he doesn't feel anything to you anymore and says that the relationship is certainly over and you'll never be together, doesn't mean that in 2 months he won't miss you - especially when he finds out that you don't want to come back and in addition you've already started to meet someone else.

We are terrible at predicting whether we will love someone in the future, because we have no power over it. It happens, or it doesn't happen regardless of our will. It's a bit like with diarrhoea. The only thing you can say is whether you have it now. It's hard for you to predict whether you will have it next month.

Then how to recognize how much someone loves you? The easiest way to do this is by paying attention to how much interest he or she shows towards you. How often he or she contacts you. How they behave in your company and how they address you.

You always have to look at somebody's behaviour as a whole, and not at individual signs that can be misleading when treated in isolation. What is more important is what the person is doing and less important is what they are saying. So if someone assures you that they love you, but they don't want to meet you too often and sometimes they don't reply to your messages.. It means that they probably don't love you as intensely as they say.

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