How do you know if he or she loves you? 3 rules
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How do you know if he or she loves you? 3 rules

For starters, I advise against getting to know if someone loves you or not with the flower petal method. Not because it is a totally random thing and not because it is extremely unpleasant for the flower, but because it is a myth that someone either loves you or not. 

Feelings do not close on a zero-one sequence scale. So if you're wondering whether someone is interested in you, you should be thinking along the lines of how strong their feelings for you are, instead of wondering if they love you at all. The other person may be totally indifferent to you, slightly curious about you, interested in you, very interested in you, infatuated, in love with you or even completely obsessed with you. What’s more, there are also intermediate stages of every of those stages.

There’s one more fact that we need to establish - feelings change over time and rarely remain at the same level for long. So making your estimation, you need to take into account the present moment, first and foremost, and not how it was a few months ago.

To rate how much someone loves you, you have to consider two factors - how often they show you their interest and how often they show you a lack of interest.

If you judge the signs of interest, remember that what the other person does is much more important than what they say. If, for example, they often tell you compliments or even directly confesses their feelings, but just as often they cancel meetings, don’t pick up when you call them or don’t write back to your texts, then that person is not really interested in you. Such strange examples of mixed interest and lack of interest don’t happen too often, but if this applies to you, it is often associated with a third person that appeared somewhere along the way.

If you are in love and you really care about the other person, you can fall into a trap. In such situation, you want that person’s attention so badly, that your mind filters out even the smallest signs of that person’s interest and interprets them in your favor. But it’s often totally different than the reality. The more signs of lack of interest you notice in between, the more sure you can be about that.

Let's see then, what suggests that someone is not interested in you:

- The other person doesn’t show too much initiative and it’s usually you who initiates contact.
- Even if you propose a meeting or call just to talk, the other person is not so happy about it.
- When you meet with a group of friends, the other person doesn’t want to spend much time with you or even ignores you.
- Sometimes they don’t write back or don’t call back.
- They forget that they promised to do something for you.
- They show their interest to other attractive people when you are around.

Of course, if you notice only one of the signs, then it does not necessarily mean that the man or woman is not interested in you at all. But remember, the more of such behavior you observe, the more likely it is that you should do something about it.

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See you next week!
Robert Marchel

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