Are you wondering if your ex wants to come back to you? Today on the charts I will show you how the feelings change after breaking up.
Of course, what your ex feels after a breakup depends on many factors but today I will discuss the most common, simplified example of a breakup and an example of a return without many complications.
If no third party or major external factors such as moving abroad were involved, the relationship never ends suddenly. On the contrary, it falls apart quite slowly over a period of at least weeks, often even months.
This means that love does not work like a light switch. The feelings towards a partner can rather be compared to the temperature in the room. Asking yourself questions: "He loves me or he loves me not" is pointless, because it's like asking if the room is hot or icy when it's 20 degrees cellcius. The intensity of feelings or the level of interest changes with time and fluctuates. The fact that your partner said that he loved you only 2 months ago does not mean that he loves you now. But also the fact that he now says he doesn't love you anymore doesn't mean that it won't change in 2 months - especially if you learn how to influence his feelings.
A red line on the chart denotes a certain level of feelings in a relationship, after which - if the feelings fall down - the partner is ready to break up with you. And if they grow, the partner is ready to come back to you. This does not mean that if your feelings fall or rise, your partner will immediately break up or get back to you. For this, you still need the right opportunity. It may be that your partner has wanted to break up for months because he doesn't love you anymore but he doesn't know how to tell you this because it's very difficult. It may also be that he has been missing you for a long time, and wants to come back, but he is afraid of being rejected by you and does not know how to do it.
The chart that I am presenting concerns the disintegration of the relationship because of the broken balance of feelings.
One partner is slowly moving away while the other partner is trying to stop him/her, but it only breaks the balance of feelings more and more, which in turn makes the interest drop more and more. When it falls below the red line, there is a question of waiting for opportunities.
A very interesting thing happens after the breakup. Even if you broke the balance of feelings, asked for another chance and made a lot of mistakes but finally you gave up and stopped talking to your ex, the more time will pass, the more your partner's interest toward you will grow. First of all, because you naturally become a bigger challenge for him/her. The more time passes, the less sure it will be if you still want to come back. Your partner might be wondering if you have already met someone and there is no chance of coming back.
After exceeding a certain level of interest, you may be contacted by your ex - it doesn't mean that he wants to come back - most likely he is just curious how you're doing. That is why it is often a mistake to react with great enthusiasm to the first contact because it shows that you are not a challenge and your ex’s interest toward you will decrease quickly again.
However, there are methods that will make your ex’s feelings start to rise. For example, sending a message with confession of your last mistakes, an additional indirect demonstration of lack of interest, or a gentle and skillful arousal of jealousy. There are also mistakes, e.g. a quick agreement to return to your ex when you hear such a proposal. It's not worth going back to your ex if you know consciously that the relationship was toxic and now you just feel emptiness and longing. However, if you know that your ex is a very valuable person, and it was you who have made a lot of mistakes and pushed your partner away, and now you have drawn conclusions, then maybe it will be worth fighting for that person.
Getting back your ex is not an event, but a long and often difficult process, during which a lot of traps are waiting for you. If you're really serious about it, you need to know exactly how break-ups and returns work in different situations. The chart you've seen is based on over 11 years of experience and over 3,000 consultations - and this video is just a foretaste of what you need to know to get your ex backI also invite you to take a free test "Back to your ex - chances". Click here