How to attractively renew contact with your ex?
<< Back to list

How to attractively renew contact with your ex?

Free online training
Sign up now:

If during the break up, or some time after the parting, you showed how much you cared about your partner, you asked for more chances and generally you stopped being a challenge for this person, then the passage of time is crucial. Depending on the situation, you can calmly wait from a few weeks to even a few months before you decide to renew the contact. I talk more about how it works and why it is often  very necessary in other films on

Even if after breaking off you showed a lot of interest, the more time passes, the less and less sure the other person will be whether you still feel something? Whether you want to come back? Or maybe you have already given yourself some peace of mind and started meeting someone else?

Therefore, with each passing week the interest in your Ex should grow more and more - besides, any hostility should decrease - if it arose during the break up  - and thanks to that it will be much easier to make contact with this person.

Remember that emotions in relationships are very fluid, they change quite quickly. Therefore, even if after break up, your ex replies to your text messages very rarely or even does not answer phone calls anymore, it does not mean that the situation will look the same after a month or two since you broke off contact.

If your first contact after such a break is combined with a lot of interest from the beginning, your ex may feel as if all this time you have been actually sitting and thinking about him or her. This means that you still want to come back and you are not a challenge at all. And because of that, unfortunately, you only make things worse and kill your attractiveness, which has only begun to increase.

That is why you have to avoid at all costs serious conversations about getting back together, feelings or even asking if this person is already with someone or not. It is also a bad idea to suggest a meeting during the first contact. This can have the effect of: "Oh, he probably still feels something to me and wants to come back”.

Another weak way of renewing the contact is resorting to some poor excuse, e.g. to get back a thing that you don't really need and you could live without it. If you call your Ex and say: "Hi, you know what I once left my shower gel at your place, I could come by and take it back. When will you be at home?” Your ex will know that this is just a pretext and you actually just want to meet. So beware of such situations.

Then, how to attractively renew contact?

The most important effect you should evoke is thinking: "Hmm... He/she has changed. He is no longer so interested. He wouldn't behave like that in the past.” This will make you seem a bigger challenge - and will give you a good starting point to propose a meeting later.

There are several ways to achieve such an effect, but the most important rule is one - even though you are the one who initiates contact, you have to show a lack of interest at the beginning. It may seem difficult, but during all these years of having consultations on this topic I have created a lot of ways to do it.

One of the simpler ways I'll share with you today is to talk to this person on Messenger - ideally when your Ex is available - so that it's a chat, not an exchange of messages. You can ask without any particular pretext to talk, e.g. "Yo, look who it is on facebook, Long time no see! :D What have you been up to?” Then, when that person asks you a question or writes something that requires your answer, you should display this message and disappear from messenger, leaving it unanswered. This, of course, may seem strange. Looking at it from the outside, it may even seem a little childish. But that person doesn't know what’s on your mind and from their perspective it looks completely different.

On the one hand, you make them remember you and give the first impulse to direct your Ex’s thoughts towards you. On the other hand, you show by your behaviour that you are no longer in love. That you don't want to come back at any price anymore. Because if you were, you wouldn't waste the opportunity to talk. And this is what your Ex sees.

Back to your ex - chances