|Being a challenge for a person you like is the most important of all the attractiveness factors - and yet many people do not understand exactly how it works. In an earlier video on the subject I spoke about what tips and tricks to use to recover become a challenge again. Today I'll tell you how to naturally build and combine being a challenge with full sincerity.|
For starters, you are usually a natural challenge for the people who are romantically interested in you, but you’re not interested in them - or you’re just interested a little bit. In such cases, unwittingly you behave in a very attractive way. You don’t really care about meeting those people. If they don’t write back to your texts you don’t panic and send them 10 messages in in hour. The problem is that it’s all completely subconscious. You don’t even have to think about what you’re doing and you’re attractive anyway.
This attitude, however, undergoes a 180 degree change when you start fancying someone. Then you usually start to show far too much interest. You're trying to impress and show yourself at your best at all cost. You start committing errors that show desperation - jealousy, getting offended or constantly seeing problems.
I’ve come to the conclusion that we have a certain evolutionary mechanism that works against us. Yes, you heard me correctly. For the sake of humanity, your unconscious mind does not want you going after the person that you think is more attractive than you. If that’s your approach, your intuition (or just unconscious mind), will tell you to do the worst possible things - that is for example to show too much interest or show how much you care - and that will prevent you from becoming a challenge and you will have no chance of impressing that attractive person that you like.
If you want to have your unconscious mind on your side, so that it doesn’t sabotage your actions but supports you in every endeavor, you cannot put that person above yourself. Either way - you have to be aware that your happiness does not depend on other people. You have to go beyond the illusions that crop up in your head.
This might take an attractive attitude, along the lines of: "I like you. I’d be happy to go out with you and get to know you better - but if you do not want to - that's fine. "
Even when you're in a relationship, you may have a similar attitude is: "I love you with all my heart, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but if you do not want to – I understand. Are you free. I do not want you to be with me, if you do not want. If you prefer to be alone - I understand. You prefer to be with someone else - I wish you luck and happiness. Only you know best what to do with your life. "
There is no desperation in this type of attitude. Actually, this is the complete opposite of desperation. There is no fear, no clinging to the other person. There is no blame, insult, or jealousy. It is the attitude of unconditional love, but also unconditional attractiveness. If you manage to achieve such an outlook and act in accordance with it, it will be difficult for you to loose your attractiveness.
Of course, developing this sort of attitude towards the person that messed with your head is pretty difficult - to say the least. In fact, for the vast majority of people it is almost impossible. Because of that, when I work with my clients, I advise them how to give the impression that they are not interested. There are plenty of tricks that can fool the subconscious of another human being – and yes, that is a type of manipulation. Such methods, however, often do not work in the long run, and that’s why the key is even a slight change in your attitude and at the lest – not committing desperate mistakes.
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See you next week!