|When you meet a new person and you fall in love with each other, monotony is not a threat. But does that mean that in general it is not there? After they get together, couples often meet in their homes or apartments, sitting there for hours, completely cut off from the world. In many cases, spending time like this is monotonous, but it does not impact the relationship in any way. Why?|
Because what really destroys relationships is not the monotony, but the loss of a friendly bond between two people. At the beginning everything is new and exciting. There’s stuff to talk about, because people can learn a lot about each other all the time. But when time passes there’s a lot less new things to talk about. With time, love becomes more mature and the excitement factor before a meeting disappears. Especially when the couple finally start living together and responsibilities mount on each side, then the relationship is exposed and can get more shallow. Gradually, partners talk to each other less and less and the topics of conversation are no longer as deep as before. Gradually they begin to live with each other rather than be with each other. The less time spent out of the house, the less opportunity they have to spend their time together and maintain this relationship. Therefore, over time they become more and more detached from one another and the relationship becomes more and more vulnerable to crises, including cheating on each other. That's what usually happens because of monotony in a relationship.
But feelings in this case do not subside because the couple does not travel together, or too rarely leaves the house. But because of the loss of their friendly bond. So how can you prevent this?
First of all, talk to your partner. Talk to him about everything that happens in your life and listen to what they have to say. Not once a week, but every day. Sometimes it happens that a couple once again starts to grow closer, only when one person goes away abroad for a while. Then it turns out that calling each other every day, makes them spend more time talking to each other than it would if they lived together and this makes them get closer to each other once again.
Talk to your partner about current issues and plans for the future. Talk about what worries you or what your fears are . Do not isolate yourself from your partner, but pull them into your life. Introduce them to your friends. If possible, find a common activity that will make both of you happy and that you can both do regularly. Ideally some kind of sport, dance or other type of hobby like cooking.
The remedy that instantly kills the monotony is traveling together, because when you leave together, you have a lot of time to talk and rebuild the ties between you. It works well even on one-day trip. Regular going out for dates works just as well as traveling, only on a smaller scale, but it is easier to go out in the evening even for an hour than to go outside the city.
All these tips will work perfectly if your partner also wants to participate in healing the relationship. But what do you do if you see that your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t want to make an effort? Firstly, certainly work on the balance of feelings. This is a separate great topic that I talk about in my videos on robertmarchel.com
Secondly, do not drag your partner out of the house by force, because it can build hostility and give you the opposite effect. Instead, talk to them again in the evening, even if you’re the one who has to do most of the talking at the beginning.
Thirdly, when your partner rejects your suggestions of going out, go out alone or with your friends if possible. Your girlfriend or boyfriend will be motivated the most, if you give them an example.
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