Relationship. How to destroy competition
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Relationship. How to destroy competition

At the beginning it is worth to distinguish how serious the situation is. Whether your partner has become involved in just an innocent fling, or maybe s/he is already infatuated  in other person.

The best indicator to show you how serious the problem is, is what your relationship looks like at the moment. Have you noticed that your partner has moved away from you recently? Has s/he just moved away a little bit? Or maybe nothing has changed and s/he is still warm and sensitive? As I mentioned in the video: "Can you love two people at the same time" a relationship between men and women is single-track, which means that if you still see a lot of interest from your partner, then most likely nothing else is happening on the side. The longer the distance has appeared lately, the more serious the matter is and the faster you have to react.


If the matter is not too serious yet and you just see a threat from some colleague your partner is meeting with, the best way to protect yourself against possible betrayal is to take the best possible care of your relationship. Taking care to fix the balance of feelings - if you feel that recently it has been severely upset to your disadvantage. Eliminate any negativity in your behaviour - e.g. stop showing jealousy and resentment. It is also worth taking care to strengthen the friendly bond between you.

The closer you get to your partner, the less chance that he or she will get involved in some other relationship. When you constantly see commitment from your partner, the best results are achieved with very positive messages from your side - you can talk about what you are afraid of and what worries you, but instead of prohibitions or control, emphasize that you trust your partner and do not intend to check him/her. In practice, if betrayal occurs when your relationship is relatively good, it means that the other party is likely to be prone to betrayal, so it is better not to build a relationship with this person anyway. 

However, this issue is a little different when the situation is very serious, the partner has moved away from you and you can see that at any time there is a risk of betrayal. Then eliminating the errors of resentment, jealousy and general striving to restore the balance of feelings between you is still the basis, but in the long run it may not be enough if the threat is very real. After all, you cannot accept that your partner has obviously started to have an affair with someone.

Even if you won't do anything about it after you've found out, you'll lose attractiveness. However, prohibitions, persuasion and attempts at control are still not a good solution. If your partner wants to get involved in an affair, you won't be able to control him/her. An ultimatum is also a fatal solution - "Either you end this relationship, or we are over! - which still gives your partner a lot of control and communicates nothing more than that: "Choose me! I'm at your fingertips all the time" - and that doesn't eliminate the problem: it's still bad between you and your partner and you haven't done anything that would make your partner want to choose you.


The best way to eliminate competition in such a situation is the following scenario: "I see you're seeing someone. I understand, I have no regrets, you could have fallen in love, but forgive me, for me it means the end of my feelings for you. I can't accept it and unfortunately we have to break up. - Breaking a relationship is the strongest stimulus you can give to your partner, which will make you a huge challenge immediately. Only when your partner feels that they are losing control and you are no longer at their fingertips will they be able to feel something for you again.

Of course, there may be some doubts here: "What if it doesn't help? After all, this will only push him/her into someone else's hands. Of course, you have to take into account the risk that it will not work out. However, the risk is much smaller than you think, because separation is such a powerful emotional stimulus that if your partner doesn't react at all, it means that nothing else will help.

Do you want to build a lasting, happy relationship? You don't know how to deal with conflicts, jealousy and resentment? Is coldness, monotony and hostility creeping into your relationship? Make sure to check out my course - click here

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