Relationship. When can you start living together?
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Relationship. When can you start living together?

When you fall in love with each other and enter into a new relationship, even during the first 2-3 years of your relationship both you and your partner look at each other through rose-coloured glasses. 

Idealizing your partner is something completely normal, and it's very easy not to see what the other person is really is - even if your friends or family give you some warning signals. Only after 2-3 year the relationship starts to mature and then not only the advantages but also the disadvantages of the partner can be seen much more clearly.

Because of this effect, it is much better to wait at least two years and get to know your girlfriend or boyfriend a little better before you decide to take a bigger step, which cannot be easily undone, e.g. getting married, taking a mortgage for a flat, or starting a family.

However, living together in practice is not an irreversible step - especially if you move into a flat for which you did not take a mortgage together, but is rented, or already belongs to one of you. 

Does this mean that you can start living together very quickly? I certainly don't suggest doing it after the first date, but if you are both confident in your commitment, obviously you feel something for each other, there's no point in postponing this step. Living together is the best way to get to know each other relatively quickly.

If you just date and see each other a couple times a week for a few hours, in fact, each of you plays a specific role.. You try to look as good as you can - and you want to make the best impression on your partner. Only when you start living together and see each other most of the day, with and without makeup, in good and bad mood, then you can really get to know each other really well. It's much easier to see if you really suit each other in many ways. If there are features in your partner that are unacceptable in the long run, you will be able to discover it much faster if you live with him/her.

But can living together too quickly harm the relationship in any way? Yes. If you have features that are annoying, it may be easier for your partner to see them and it may be a problem - but sooner or later you would have to face it anyway. Living together can also be a big problem if only one side wants it and the other side feels pressured to do so. In this way, in the long run you can break the balance of feelings between you and your partner.

It is not true, however, that starting living together quickly will make you boring and will cause your relationship fall apart because of this. If you are serious about your partner, sooner or later you will have to live with him/her anyway. There are a lot of couples who live together and who don't complain about the monotony because they organize their time very well and, above all, they create a lot of opportunities to talk to each other.

Do you want to build a lasting, happy relationship? You don't know how to deal with conflicts, jealousy and resentment? Is coldness, monotony and hostility creeping into your relationship? Make sure to check out my course - click here

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