Who rules in a relationship? 5 signs
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Who rules in a relationship? 5 signs

I’m in charge in my house! – any man may say that. – My wife only makes decisions.


Have you ever wondered who’s the ruler in your relationship? You or your partner? We can only hope that it’s not your mother-in-law.
It’s perfect when both of you have enough to say in your relationship. But if it’s not that way, it’s first worth diagnosing the situation, and then trying to do something with it. See 5 signs showing that you are in a worse position.


1. Your partner often makes decisions on his/her own, and sometimes he/she doesn’t even want to know your opinion. This also concerns any everyday choices, such as the dates of meetings or the ways of spending time together. You prefer to step aside and do it his/her way than not meet at all or risk a negative reaction. Of course, sometimes you may let him/her do it, but if you do it all the time, your partner will learn that he/she may do anything and that you tolerate this kind of behaviour.

2. It is you who cares more about meetings and everyday talks. You are the one who calls or texts your partner more often. When you have a chance of going out for a date, you are ready to postpone your activities in order to manage to meet this person. And your partner would rather postpone the date if he/she had any other options available. The worst thing you can do in such a situation is blaming the other person. You may force someone to do something for you, but you cannot force him/her to want it himself/herself. So give your partner much freedom.

3. You are the one who cares more about sex. You strive for it more often and you react in a positive way when partner starts to initiate it. Usually, when someone’s feelings are getting weaker, he/she automatically ceases to want to go to bed, regardless of the partner’s attractiveness. But this factor may be deceiving as there are many reasons of reduced libido.


4. It is you who talks about the future and the plans concerning home and family more often. Your partner is rather reserved when it comes to such topics. He/she never starts them, and when you do, he/she avoids them or only politely nods in agreement. If you’ve been together for a long time and such a situation occurs, it may mean that your partner is not quite certain about your relationship and that’s why he/she is not making such plans.

5. Your partner often shows you a lack of interest. He/she sometimes doesn’t write or call you back, or forgets about you in any other way. He/she sometimes doesn’t communicate with you for a few days, if you don’t call or text him/her. Then he/she explains it in a dismissive way or doesn’t explain it at all.

The more signs can be noticed in your relationship, the more disrupted the emotional balance between the two of you – and maintaining this disproportion for a long time will unfortunately lead to the end of the relationship. That’s why you should try to give your partner as much space as you can. Quit blaming him/her that he/she doesn’t have time or doesn’t show his/her feelings. Don’t control your partner and don’t show jealousy, even if you have reasons for doing so. Do not get offended. All this kinds of behaviour will only make the situation worse and will prove that you want to keep your partner with you at all costs.

But the situation when you are on the other side (you “rule” in a relationship) and your partner actively fights for you is also undesired. The longer it lasts, the less interested you get, and your partner starts losing his/her patience and he/she is getting more and more discouraged. That’s why in such a situation you should try to show as much warmth and respect, which are the best remedies for blaming and jealousy. However, they may be not be sufficient in every case.

More information about emotional balance is included in my material “How to build and repair relationships”, which can be found at robertmarchel.com.

If you want to diagnose the situation in your relationship in a more detailed way, take a free test, which can also be found at robertmarchel.com.

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Robert Marchel

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